Fear of speaking up in meetings: How resonant leaders can help
One of the most common fears in the workplace is that of speaking up in meetings, especially when you are amongst people you perceive as senior or powerful eg bosses.
Most of us at some point in our career may have battled with the emotional disturbance it triggers
Take the example of Kevin. Kevin was part of a meeting where his senior managers and heads of departments were present, so he decided that he would play safe by being a silent listener. However as the meeting proceeded, he had an input that he felt might be of value. He mentally debated sharing it, however hesitated because he did not want his idea or himself to sound foolish. Again he decided to take the no-risk road, keeping his view to himself. Ten minutes later a colleague offered the very same input, Kevin had been thinking about, earning the appreciation of the group! Kevin was angry and frustrated with himself at the lost opportunity!
The above pattern emerged in Kevin’s behaviour in almost every meeting that did not involve, his safe circle of peers. No matter how determined he was to overcome his hesitation, fear paralyzed him. His palms would get sweaty and he would tense up when the moment came to speak up.
Irrespective of the level of seniority executives are at, Kevin's exist in most meeting rooms. Seniority does not necessarily translate into confidence when it comes to this particular issue. Invariably all of us, have the voice of self-doubt and the inner critic that stops us in our tracks. We think it’s better to be quiet and safe rather than be brave and stupid!
Leaders play a pivotal role in ensuring the hesitant individual, finds his or her voice in their meetings. In the words of Daniel Goleman “ “resonant leaders have the power to impact the emotional states of people around them. They can have a positive effect, pulling people onto the same upbeat wavelength”. Responding to their team's emotional state is the most powerful way to engage them and here are a few simple steps to do this.
Create a ‘Safe to Speak’ culture — Commence a meeting by creating a mood and space in meetings that enable people to relax and feel safe. One way of doing this is to start the meeting by letting people know that you look forward to inputs from everyone present in the meeting, big or small. Take a minute to check into the emotional mood in the room. What's the energy like in the room, is it positive and conducive to the ease of communication? If the atmosphere seems very tense or heavy, Leaders can insert some positive strokes eg asking everyone how they are feeling this morning and indulging in five minutes of small talk before kicking off.
In a global set-up, be aware of cultural differences — People from different cultures, show up at meetings differently. Some are vocal and expressive, some are conditioned by a culture to remain silent in front of authority, yet others may find language an inhibiting factor. Resonant leaders draw people in, by responding to their differences in an empathetic way eg they may ask the silent observer, for their views, gently drawing him or her in or give enough time to a person with limited language skills to express themselves.
Non-verbal cues — Resonant leaders are self-aware and conscious of their non-verbal cues. For example when listening to a person with language difficulties, encourage the person with nods, smiles and with interesting facial expressions. When involved in debating a point, refrain from dismissive gestures and body language as they discourage people, sending a negative message of feeling undervalued.
Listen and Acknowledge- Pay your full attention to the person contributing the smallest idea and sincerely thank them for sharing the thought/idea even if it is not going to impact anything. This helps in making the individual feel encouraged and trust you.
Knowledge is power, hence gaining access to your team's thoughts, views and ideas not only boosts the creativity and productivity of the organization, but it also helps Leaders to build a culture of innovation and creativity.
Payal is an Executive and Leadership coach, bringing over twenty years of global corporate experience to her field. As a coach, she is passionate about helping leaders become the best version of themselves through discovering their authentic voice and create positive shifts in behaviours with practical steps.
Website https://www.empoweredleadership.in/
Email: payal@empoweredleadership.in
Originally published at https://www.empoweredleadership.in on June 25, 2018 by Payal Rajaratnam.
